6 Things You Don't See on Instagram
Okay, this one took me a little bit to work up the courage to write BUT I know that someone out there needs to read it and not feel so alone, because in a world full of billions of people and screens to connect us all - sometimes it just makes you feel more and more distant. MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL and I am not complaining one bit, I really love my life - BUT it is not always the beautiful squares you see and the perfect filters that I love working on and creating. Creating is my passion and my instagram has become an extension of that, but I also want to always be totally up front and real about my life so that every one of you can feel like were buddies and totally open to reaching out if you ever want to chat :) so here we go!!
I have insecurities - very rarely does a week go by that I don’t have pimples on my face from eating to many sweets, or I spend too much time in front of the mirror critiquing myself. I have come worlds away from my college self, I used to be pretty body negative, but there are still days where I don’t like what I see in front of me. We all feel this at sometime right? I love dressing up and taking photos but somedays are just hard, and anxiety gets me, and I just stay in a tshirt all day. I am ready for my hair to grow back, I feel too pale, I don’t like my thighs…..blah blah blah. I am 5’0 and have grown to love this about myself, but its still something I think about and occasionally struggle with. What I do to combat this is remind myself that God made me this way, totally unique, and who am I to not love his creation? Just know that you’re not alone, and we all have something we can point to as our struggle when we look in the mirror. Unless you’re Beyonce.
Long Distance is Hard - Being married is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I knew Tillis was the one the exact moment I first met him, he is my person and my home and I am beyond thankful that I get to love him. BUT distance is NO FREAKING JOKE. His job as a caddie is so cool on the outside, he travels and explores and meets really cool people, BUT back at home I am missing him and he is on the road missing me. This is hard on any couple! We have ups and we have downs. we argue (hard to admit……but we all do sometimes right?!?!) and we find creative ways to connect just to close the distance a little bit when he is traveling. His job blesses us in so many ways, as does mine. My heart goes out to anyone else in a long distance relationship, its such a challenge! Actually, my heart goes out to EVERYONE IN A RELATIONSHIP because it’s always a challenge! Just remind yourself that its so worth it :) being loved and sharing love is such a gift.
I love being busy - ya’ll. I LOVE taking fun photos and going to cool places, drinking coffee, etc.but I have been working on being content at home and having a “boring day”. I feel like in our culture “busy” is so glorified and I am really working on being more content in my place with my people and not having to go go go and do do do all the time. is this FOMO? I’m not sure. Is it keeping up with the Jones’? Also not sure. But I am trying to figure it out! I want to be able to enjoy rest and fully be in the moment, no matter if I’m out on a date night, or at home on my couch reading. I want to feel the BEING THERE.
Comparison SUCKS - I was listening to a sermon once and the pastor was telling a story about a conversation he had with his son. His son asked “Dad is 50k a lot to make in a year?” and the dad/pastor replied “It is until you make it” . THIS HIT ME. It is until you make it, everything is enough until you obtain it, and then we want MORE. There will always be more - more clothes, more house, more car, more people…..on and on. I am lucky in the way that I don’t necessarily fall into the “body comparison” trap much (shut that down back in college when i realized I would never be 5’10 lol and that my body is what it is) but I know that this can be so crippling for so many women. It is so hard to not look at others and think “why isn’t that me?” What I struggle with is - why don’t I have a house? Why don’t I have a nicer car? Why don’t I have a high powered job with Ted Talks and my second book on the way? Why can’t I get 30k followers"? Ugh. I hate so much that I have these thoughts because 1. we all have our timing and 2. my life is so great - I once wished for what I have now, why can’t my enough be enough? Its a tough one. I hope that all of you feel that you’re enough and that you’re doing great right on the path you’re on - please don’t let anyone else’s “perception” of life they put out there ever make you feel small or less than. Also, there is an “unfollow” button, get rid of anything that doesn’t make you happy! In your real life and online!
Balance is Key - in everything. work, finances, love, friendship, family, etc. Let me unpack these a little. I have a wonderful full time job, but I have to balance it out with my jewelry business and creating on my instagram because that fulfills my creative need. My full time job pays the bills so it is totally necessary, but if you have a passion that is burning within you its OKAY to do that on the side, it may even help you excel in your career if it makes you happy and more balanced! Finances are a tough one for me - I have loans, a credit card, and a car payment - I also have a burning desire to always buy new clothes and hats (LOL) so that balance is necessary, for every item I buy I make sure to donate something from my closet. Sometimes I have to put myself on a complete spending freeze so that I can get back on track, another challenge for me. Relationships are so give and take, make sure you’re not always the giver or the taker. I call my sisters regularly, I make sure Tillis and I eat a few meals a week at home (I am learning to cook!!) and one of my best friends and I (Shelby I hope you see this!!!) very often have coffee dates where we take turns venting ITS BALANCE!
I’m Still Figuring It Out - Do I know what I want to do for forever? No. Do I know where I want to live forever? Also no. Do my passions change? Daily. Sometimes I feel like I have WAY to many interests and not enough drive to take any of them anywhere. I have days where I just don’t know where to go from here or what next steps to take. I look at other women my age and think, “how did they get there?!” What I am trying to say with this one is that it’s okay if you’re not sure what you’re doing right now, the right thing will unfold for you in time. I try everyday to do the best with what I have and what I know and keep moving from there! This is just where I am now, and I’m sure as life changes (kids, growth, jobs, locations) all of this will always be changing along with it!
I hope getting a little glimpse into my life helps you get to know me a little better, I always want to be a friend through the screen and not just another random girl with cute clothes on your feed. I would love to chat if you ever want to, and even grab a coffee if you’re local!